Lonely tomato out in the street,

How did you get here without any feet?

Did someone drop you? Or did you roll,

Out from a plastic bag with a hole?

You look so alone. Why are you here?

Are you off exploring a brave new frontier?

That’s not a safe place for a tomato to sit.

Are you an outcast? Or perhaps a misfit?

Now that we’ve talked, I feel a connection,

The sadness within you, and your rejection.

I won’t leave you alone, to live out your days.

I’ll leave you a friend, and be on my ways.

This morning I went,

To put on my shoe.

But my foot wouldn’t fit.

Did this mean I grew?

I stuck in my hand,

To feel what was there.

Then pulled out a ball,

And a tiny stuffed bear,

Three Lego figures,

Two quarters, a sock,

A crayon, eraser and,

My lost dollhouse clock,

A cookie, a peanut,

Half of a comb,

This is what happens,

With a baby at home.

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

You’re writing a sentence and every time,

There are 3 things you must keep in mind.

You know this kids, don’t go ask you mommas.

Remember your capital letters, periods, and commas.

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

You’re writing a sentence, know what comes first?

A capital letter, remember this verse!

At the end of a sentence, what must your write?

A period child, lets’ get this part right!

You learned FANBOYS, coordinating conjunctions.

They join two sentences. That’s their function.

Now use your brain when writing your homework,

Forget these things and you’ll be a real jerk.

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

Capital letters, periods, and commas. COMMAS!

This morning I had trouble rhyming,

My vowels, consonants, and timing.

I went to the Rhyme Doctor to see,

If he had some way to fix me.

He asked in the Rhyme Doctor’s way,

“So what is the problem today?”

“I can see on your face the dismay.”

“Let’s shoo all your troubles away.”

I told him the symptoms I had,

Like trying to rhyme bed and mad.

A shadow crossed over his face,

As I spoke and watched the doc pace.

He examined my eyes and an ear,

While mumbling too quiet to hear.

I stuck out my tongue and said, “ooooo,”

Then he said, “Ah! I know what to do.”

You have contracted Rhymitis.

And possibly a case of Hearitis.

Maybe a touch of Tonguitis.

Relax, we have methods to cure all this!”

He could tell I was very concerned,

When he walked out the door and returned,

Holding an old pair of pliers,

Held together with red rusty wires.

“We’re going to straighten your tongue!”

He said as he nimbly sprung,

Over to me in my seat,

And grabbed my tongue by the meat.

He twisted and turned it about.

Came close to ripping it out.

Until we both heard a loud CLUNK,

That cured me of my rhyme funk.

“Your tongue is straight as can be.

Rhyming should come easily.”

I thanked the Doc for his goodwill,

And asked how to settle his bill.

He said, “Go up front to my nurse,

The charge is three stanzas and a verse.”

I was struck with the smell as I slunk in the store,

And I jumped at the sound from the chimes on the door.

The soft glow of the room cast a shadow so grim,

That my courage was bright as the candles were dim.

My eyes scanned that dark place through the smoke and the haze.

In the back of the store my eyes met his old gaze.

His voice creaked like a hinge, “Introduce yourself, child.”

“Then explain what you want,” the apoemecary smiled.

He revealed yellowed teeth gently chewing his pipe,

And blew purplish smoke with a blue and red stripe.

It enveloped his head. Hid his face like a mask,

Then smoke slithered and snaked itself down in a flask.

His hand grabbed an old cork, stuffed it tight in the top,

Put that flask on the shelf, but the smoke didn’t stop.

In the bottle it swirled, got as bright as ten stars!

I just stared at the shelf, filled with marvelous jars.

“I would like a love spell for this girl I adore.”

My voice trembled with fright as I shook to my core.

“Do not worry my child, I will cook this right up.

I will mix it post haste in this giant tin cup.

I’ll need roses of red and violets of blue,

Two antennae of roach, snot of sick caribou,

Half a rind from an elm, a young beetle’s toe nail,

Pinch of skin from a cloud, and a furry squid’s tail.”

Then he tossed it away. Pulled out pencil and pad,

And he wrote down some lines. “Here’s your poem, my dear lad.”

When I took it from him, he said, “That’s my best verse,

All you need is a poem, not some magical curse.”

You excitedly click to download the file,

Install your new game and start a free trial,

Lean back in your chair, you can’t help but smile,

But what you don’t know-you’ll be waiting a while.

The screen says 5 minutes-an approximate wait,

Not too long to load, but still, it’s not great.

Then it changes its mind to 6…7…8?!?!

What is happening with this loading time rate?

You rub your red eyes, so you can see clear.

Did time left to complete just surpass a year?

It drops to 3 minutes. You let out a cheer!

Then climbs to an hour, and you shed a tear.

Meanwhile…

The loading percent has been stuck at sixteen,

You’re thinking it’s frozen and tap on the screen.

Then the bar jumps on that infernal machine,

Jumps two whole percent all the way to…eighteen.

When percentage goes up, the time should go down,

You ponder the problem and produce a frown.

This award-winning game, the talk of the town,

Is losing its luster and widespread renown.

At long last you made it! 3 hours you spent,

Waiting on loading to 100 percent.

You click on the icon, a glorious event.

But your game won’t open, to your discontent.

There’s a smorgasbord of foods that taste superb together,

But so many untasted combos have yet to be discovered.

The creator of PB and J, and the father of Mac and Cheese,

Will bow their heads in awe when presented these delicacies.

So, without further ado, let’s unveil each new creation,

The first upon the counter is choc-o-late crustacean.

First peel an uncooked shrimp then dunk it in hot fudge,

Don’t try to taste it now, just wait! When all is done, we’ll judge.

The next delightful treat we have starts with a key lime pie,

Then we top it with asparagus. Ha ha! It’s hard to pass this by.

Next we have banana wrapped in a couple slabs of bacon,

I can tell you want to try it from the sound your stomach’s making.

And finally we’ve got sliced seaweed slathered in barbecue sauce,

What say you to that, our trusty taster? It appears you’re at a loss.

Now let’s get down to testing. Hey, where are you going to go?

Huh? What? You say you’re leaving? Then the world will never know.

Lazy Lina likes to write the least amount of lines.

She takes her time to type the title ten to twenty times.

Endlessly erasing every entry entered in.

Fabulously failing and can’t finish anything.

Poetry is calming

Why don’t you write a rhyme?

It’s a peaceful way

For you to pass the time.

Write a poem, write a poem.

It’ll calm you right down.

Write a poem, write a poem.

Help get rid of your frown.

Your brother made you mad?

Your day was just ho-hum?

You need a place to scream?

Sit down and write a poem.

Write a poem, write a poem.

It’ll calm you right down.

Write a poem, write a poem.

Help get rid of your frown.

You lost your fav’rit toy?

Your friends won’t play with you?

You’ve got way too much homework?

I know just what to do.

Write a poem, write a poem.

It’ll calm you right down.

Write a poem, write a poem.

Help get rid of your frown.

So angry you’ll explode?

You need to get it out?

Write it in a poem!

No need to scream and shout.

Write a poem, write a poem.

It’ll calm you right down.

Write a poem, write a poem.

Help get rid of your frown.

There’th one latht chocolate peeth.

Pleath don’t look downcatht.

There’th one latht chocolate peeth.

I ate them way to fatht.

There’th one latht chocolate peeth.

I tried to make it latht.

There’th one latht chocolate peeth.

I thaved it like you atht.

There’th one latht chocolate peeth.

I found a hiding thpot,

That one latht chocolate peeth.

I hid it behind my teeth.

This is the tale of Redheaded Ben,

The wisest of kids in kindergarten.

Ben planned ahead and always looked toward,

The future rewards from working so hard.

The floor was a mess, with blocks around class,

“Who'll put these away?” Ben quietly asked.

“Not I,” said Jen.

“Not I,” said Glen.

“Not I,” said Sven.

“Then I will,” said Ben.

So, he gathered the blocks into one pile.

“Who will organize these?” he asked with a smile.

“Not I,” said Jen.

“Not I,” said Glen.

“Not I,” said Sven.

“Then I will,” said Ben.

He sorted the colors into stacks that were pretty.

Then asked of his classmates, “Who will build us a city?”

“Not I,” said Jen.

“Not I,” said Glen.

“Not I,” said Sven.

“Then I will,” said Ben.

Then he built a block tower and a giant block town,

And said to his class, “Who will knock this all down?”

“I will!” said Jen.

“I will!” said Glen.

“I will!” said Sven.

“Nope. I will!” said Ben.

The destruction was epic. Blocks flew everywhere,

Some splashed in the fish tank. One in a girls’ hair.

Ben did all the work, so he got to have fun.

While his lazy classmates watched and had none.

Our teacher rang the bell, beginning carpet time.

Not knowing that we sat, amid an awful crime.

Christine grabbed her nose first, began to pantomime.

As fearfully we watched, it spread on down the line.

The next to grab their nose, was Harry on her right,

Then Nazair on her left, his face was full of fright.

They swatted in the air, at something out of sight.

We couldn't see a bug, or nothing taking flight.

We watched them so confused, arms waving in the air.

The teacher didn't talk, all she could do was stare.

At Harry's side Nicole, and Jane next to Nazair,

Became the next two kids, to fall into dispair.

All across the circle, the victim count increased.

It started north from me, and spread both west and east.

We couldn't see it coming, that vicious stinky beast.

Can't save myself from what, my classmate had released.

The next two children tried, to use their mouths to blow,

Away that hidden stench, when we knew where it'd go.

Then Richard jumped up quick, thought how to beat our foe,

He raced across the room, and opened the window.

The Autumn breeze blew through, to calm my racing heart,

It broke that ghastly cloud, and scattered it apart.

It never reached my seat! And now our class can start.

The crime remains unsolved, who made that stinky fart.

My toothpaste tube cracked,

It's oozing out the side.

I tried to tape it shut,

But now the tape won't dry.

It leaked all on my hand,

From the pressure I applied.

I've got to find a way,

To close that tube's backside.

Today I had a thought,

From seeing toothpaste dried.

I got a tube of glue,

Then slathered the outside.

I must admit it worked,

This cockeyed plan I tried.

It closed my hole real tight.

My mom is mortified.

Friday night Ms. Sue slipped in her tub,

Broke her hip, so today there’s a sub,

Today our new sub started wheezing,

Went home ‘cuz she couldn’t stop sneezing.

The next teacher the principal called,

At lunch was having internet installed.

So he needed to go home and wait,

For the installer. He couldn’t be late.

The next teacher came promptly at lunch,

She sat down, starting eating, and CRUNCH!

Chipped a tooth and went to the dentist.

That left one last name on our sub list,

An old lady, Ms. May-said “Okay,”

But that teacher got lost on the way,

Ended up in some town, Haddragrub,

That’s why our class sub needs a sub.

The window seal,

Is less than ideal.

The door in the kitchen,

Really needs fixin’.

We’re afraid of fires,

From all the frayed wires.

Paint is peeling,

By the hole in the ceiling.

Broken light switches,

No place for our dishes.

A cabinet door,

Fell off on the floor.

The sink always drips,

The tile floor chips.

Walls leak when it rains,

Causing mold stains.

For a fam’ly of four,

We need a lot more.

Please open your heart,

Give us a fresh start.

My confidence is fleet of foot. She often runs away.

It's always when I need her that she never wants to stay.

When we're alone, she seems so calm, just playing quietly.

But when I need her for something, that's when she turns to flee.

One day in class, we have to write about our favorite food,

I ask my confidence for help. She isn't in the mood.

I glare at her, and nervously a wide grin spreads her face.

Then she takes off, right out the door, like she is in a race.

In show and tell, my teacher asks if I would like to share.

I turn to confidence for help, but confidence ain't there.

She's running down the corridor at half the speed of light,

Who would have known to talk in class would give her such a fright.

I want to ask my father if he'll let me have a pet,

But right before I ask him, confidence zooms off like a jet.

I think when I need something asking confidence's a bust.

'Cuz once again she's run away and left me in the dust.

It's doing stuff in front of folks that confidence hates most.

She turns all pale and runs away just like she's seen a ghost.

There's many things that I can't do. It's really quite a shame,

I think I should consider changing confidence's name.

Boogers are sticky and icky and gross,

But picking them out is what I like the most.

Finding new places to wipe them is tough,

All my old places are getting filled up.

They're under the table, my chair, and my bed,

Behind the couch pillow where I rest my head.

Back of the book shelf, above the door frame,

On top of the TV and in the board game.

The back of the closet? Already a mound,

There's got to be one place that I haven't found.

I'd never kick a ball.

I think that it would hurt.

If a ball rolled up to me,

And kicked me in the dirt.

I'd never punch a bag.

It's something that I dread,

For a punching bag to come

And punch me in the head.

I'd never capture the flag,

I'd rather set it free,

I don't think I would like,

A flag to capture me.

I'd never wear a hat,

It's something I won't do,

How'd you think that you would feel,

For a hat to put on you?

I'd never hurt a fly,

I'd never sting a bee,

I hope they take the cue,

To never come sting me.

Sometimes I daydream,

What if I were dumb,

I'll spend most the day,

Just sucking my thumb.

People will ask me,

"Which way to the store?"

I'll open my mouth,

And drool on the floor.

"You're dumb as a nail,"

"You're thick as a log,"

Mean people will say,

As I ride my dog.

They'll call me bad names,

Dumbo or 'tard,

I won't understand,

Those words are too hard.

What's wrong with your brain?

My teachers will yell,

I'll eat my pencil,

And wait for the bell.

I won't do math right,

One plus one isn't chair?

Numbers won't make sense,

But I will not care.

I'll stare at the sun,

And sit in the rain,

Oh, won't it be grand,

To not have a brain.

Now back from my dream,

The clock is so slow,

I aced my math test,

Thirty minutes ago.

The boys in my class, they drive me insane,

Crazy girls' screaming is really a pain.

My desk is a mess, and way in the back,

Only red markers, we're all out of black.

Don't have no locker, my stuff's everywhere,

School is like torture, it's really not fair.

Lessons are boring, can't we play a game?

Reading and writing are totally lame.

The topic today: some dumb text feature.

Oh why did I have to become a teacher?

I’m mad as mangoes,

I’m happy as hills,

I’m sad as seahorses,

I’m pretty as pills.

I’m clever as cars,

I’m fast as fleas,

I’m good as goats,

I’m awful at similes.

The Hindu named Indu spent all of his time,

Connected to tech. He hated offline.

“Real life is broken. Everything is too hard,

I’d rather stay online than play in the yard.

I called my teach Mom. Can I recall what I said?

I feel so ashamed. I wish I were dead.

This book is corrupt. These words are too small.

I can’t pinch to zoom? How to uninstall?

This class is so boring. Where is the X2?

Maybe fast forward? When is class through?

Now you’re talking too fast. Where’s pause or rewind?

No, don’t say it again. Forget it", Indu whined.

"I spilled all my milk! Can IT help me?

I want to undo. Where is Ctrl Z?

I’m safer online. I’ve got anti-virus,"

He said walking home with his sick friend, Cyrus.

At the end of his life, (he choked on some mutton),

Soared up to the clouds and found…a “Restart” button.

I can't go to the beach, I'm afraid of seashells.

I won't visit Santa, I'm afraid of sleigh bells.

Cafes are a no-no, I'm afraid of the mugs.

Swimming's off limits, I'm afraid of ear plugs.

The market's no fun, I'm afraid of zucchini.

Can't go in a pet store, A hamster will eat me!

I won't go to a zoo, I'm afraid of giraffes,

The circus? Too funny, I'm afraid of the laughs.

"No Way!" to the movies, I'm afraid of big screens.

Can't go to a sports bar, I'm afraid of sports teams.

I can NOT leave my house, For out there's a nightmare.

I would rather stay home, And have tea with my bear.

In history class my nose starts itching me,

It gets hard to breathe. Ugh! What it could be?

I bet it's a booger; those things love my nose,

But I've got no more tissues, should I use my clothes?

Nah.

My finger comes out, then I stop. Will they see?

I look left and right, no one's looking at me.

The teacher says, "Nicole! What are you thinking about?"

All the kids look my way, without thinking I blurt out,

"My nose is just itching, there's no booger in there!"

Oops!

All the kids laugh. I want to hide under my chair.

The teacher ignores me and goes back to teaching.

My finger comes out, I can't stop it from reaching.

Then the door opens up, our principal walks in.

Now is my chance! All eyes are on him!

My finger goes in, so fast and so true.

It nabs that dang booger, and I breathe 'cause it's through.

Almost.

"Nicole your mom's here," I hear the principal say.

My dentist appointment! I'm saved, but dismay.

My classmates all turn and catch me dumbfounded.

So humiliating this is. I'd rather be grounded.

Where can I flick it or stick it? I'm stuck!

I wonder if anyone else has this type of bad luck.

I hide it between my forefingers and thumb.

Wipe it under the desk with some dried up old gum.

I think that I'm safe as I walk out the door.

Then hear a kid yell, "Nicole! Don't pick your nose anymore!"

I lost my imagination. I don’t know where it’s gone.

We noticed it was missing, While lying on the lawn.

We looked up at the clouds. My friends asked what I spy.

They saw a bear, a car, a pig. I only saw the sky.

My friends all played pretend. They each were something wild.

Hank became a pirate king. But I remained a child.

I wrote a fairy tale. In English class, I read,

“I walked down to the store, And bought a loaf of bread.”

“You’re boring and you’re dull. Why can’t you use your brain?”

My friends made fun of me. I’m driving them insane.

We tried to make a game, They hated each creation.

Until I told them mine, “I Lost My Imagination”.

Anti's and re's and pre's and de's,

For lines, wrinkles, dimples, and pimples.

Wanting your skin tight, light, and white,

Makes you look like a monster before bed at night.

Anchor charts, O anchor charts, you paper our wall.

You've been hanging up there since early last fall.

It's hard to remember the things we have learned,

But now it's too late. You're all to be burned.

Pete says he will do his homework in math,

Then says, "I'm too dirty, I'll first take a bath."

Pete says he will feed the bulldog his food,

Then says, "Not right now, I'm not in the mood."

Pete says he will sweep up the mess in his room,

Then says, "After this show, I'll look for the broom."

Pete says he will study for his English test,

Then says, "I'm too tired, so after I rest."

Pete says he will take the trash out tonight,

Then says, "It's too dark, I'll wait until light."

Pete says he will go to bed early, he's sick,

Then says, "One more chapter, this book's really thick."

Pete says he will go get his cut finger looked at,

Then says, "But right now, I'll play with the cat."

Pete says he will get a shot for the flu,

Then says, "Maybe tomorrow, I've got things to do."

Pete says he will take his cold and flu pills,

But did he, you think? He's died from his ills.

You’ll never guess my new frenemy’s name.

I’ll give you some hints, we’ll make it a game.

He taught me so much, and we were good friends.

He showed me the world through a different lens.

We explored the world of international news,

But now he’s no help. I feel so confused.

He’s disconnected. I’m feeling upset.

You’ve probably guessed, his name’s “Internet.”

Surfing together, we’d go online,

To finish my work in so little time.

With all of his help I got that high score,

But one day that stopped. We are friends NO MORE!

This page doesn’t exist, Error 404?

What’s going on Internet? I’ve been here before.

How’s there no Google? That’s completely insane!

What the heck is this jumping dinosaur game?

I can’t do my research on Chinese Gun Powder?!?!

Try: Checking the network cables, modem, and router?

This site can’t be reached, The connection was reset,

Are some of the excuses I get from “Internet.”

Can’t find the server, Failed to open the page.

If I can’t check my email, I’m going to rage.

My music won’t load, and Youtube won’t work,

I don’t want to be friends with this Internet Jerk.

The Jones family had a typical life,

A brother, a sister, a husband, and wife.

The parents had jobs, the kids went to school.

On weekends they often hung out at the pool.

But one summer break, ‘stead of going away,

They bought a TV, the latest 4K.

With four thousand pixels and colors supreme.

Now watching real life wasn’t as good as their screen.

They watched shows about cooking, sports, fast cars,

Movies, soap operas, gossip about stars,

Mystery, adventure, sit-coms, and cartoons,

Sci-fi, drama, and kid shows with balloons.

They watched every show until that dark night.

A storm cut the power and all of their light.

After a minute the power came back,

But not the TV. The screen remained black.

They all looked around in crazy confusion,

Pinching themselves to stop this illusion.

“Ohhhh, this is boring! Where is that clicker?”

They yelled at the screen, but it didn’t flicker.

Upon closer inspection, the TV was fried.

“What do we do now?” the littlest cried?

Papa Jones shouted, “Let’s watch the cat!”

But the cat ran away...and that ended that.

They stared at the fan, spinning up on the ceiling.

They gazed at the wall without any feeling.

They stared at a bug as it buzzed through the air.

They glared at a plant while just sitting there.

“There must be something to watch like before.”

Searching the room, their eyes stopped on the floor.

A spider crawled out and for a brief pause,

They watched as the cat caught it with its claws.

But then it escaped, fled quick for its life!

Ran straight for the couch and Mr. Jones’ wife.

To squash that bug flat she picked up a book,

But stopped in mid-swing and gave it a look.

She let out a laugh, implored them, “Come quick!”

And held up the book to show them a pic.

They gathered around to hear their mum read,

Forgetting TV from which they’d been freed.

I get to my class and then go to my chair,

I feel kinda strange, like something's not there.

*beep* *beep*

I notice my legs when kids point and stare,

I look down to see my white underwear?

*beep* *beep*

Where are my pants? This doesn't feel right,

I cover myself and close my eyes tight.

*beep* *beep*

"Henry, let's go," says a faraway voice,

I have to stand up? Do I have a choice?

*beep* *beep*

I reach for my homework. It falls on the ground,

Then I hear it again, that beep beeping sound.

*beep* *beep*

What is that noise? It's not the school bell,

"Henry, wake up!" I hear my mom yell.

*beep* *beep*

I open my eyes and look at my clock,

I can't see the time because of my sock.

*beep* *beep*

I pull it away. AH! 7:08!?!?!

That was my alarm. I'm gonna be late!